Not Doing All The Things

In my years of working with coaching clients and therapy patients, something that often comes up is a desire to slow down. To pause, stop, and create more space for just being. Sometimes the desire isn’t clear but the need presents itself in a dramatic way - feeling burned out and overwhelmed, finding it hard to make time for self-care, a health issue that forces us to look at what we are prioritizing or allowing in our life. It can be a very jolting experience to realize that how we feel might be a reflection of how hard we’ve been pushing ourselves, and perhaps it’s time to let go.

This often feels like a struggle for folks, to disengage from doing and productivity. Often, we have been told (and told ourselves) that being productive is necessary in order to move forward. Capitalism and white supremacy would have us believe that our worth is determined by how much we produce. But what happens when we are exhausted and juggling too many things, even things we have wanted, worked for, and created for ourselves? We may wonder if we will disappoint someone or let them down when we stop giving, doing, performing. We may worry about disappointing ourselves.

Questions of identity can come up when we slow down and pause. Who are you when you stop doing and just be? We may believe that if we stop and rest, everything will fall apart. Including us. We may feel tied to who we are when we are doing, striving, achieving. What feelings and emotions come up when we rest and allow ourselves to integrate and digest all the movement and change in our lives?

Sometimes we have found a wonderful, supportive practice of things that make us feel healthier, happier, more balanced and grounded. And yet, there are times when doing those things drains us and keeps us in a perpetual cycle of motion. When we are tired. When keeping all the balls in the air feels like too much, and we wonder how long we can go on. As difficult as this experience is, it is an opportunity to shift our relationship to what we are doing. It is an acknowledgment that, through no fault of our own, what we’ve been doing is no longer working for us. It is an invitation to try something different that is in better alignment with what we need.

What comes up for you when you rest?
Do you allow yourself to rest?
Do you question who you are when you give yourself permission to pause?
How can you take one step toward giving yourself the time and space you deserve - for a moment, a month, or a season?
What is one thing you can let go of doing, for now?